Random Thoughts

Last night I watched the Boise State vs Virginia Tech football game.  It was a great game.  From beginning to end the game was exciting.  Great atmosphere.  Two really good teams.  Big plays.  Bad mistakes.  Good coaching.  Ups and downs.  Star players playing like it.  And so on.  It was a really good game to watch.  Now that being said, it needed to be.  ESPN has pumped up this game for the last 2 weeks constantly.  They were promoting it over and over and over and….you get the point.  The hype going into the game was insane and although it does not normally happen, it lived up to the hype. 

This got me thinking.   What in life is worth the hype?  What actually lives up to what people tell you is awesome?  What can you look at and go “yeah” that is something that really is sweet.  Here is a list of some things that I think are worth the hype:

1. real friends – people you can count on and that are rooting for you no matter what
2. a great family – everyday I realize how lucky I am to come from a home with awesome parents and how cool it is that I am close with my brother and sister
3. a faithful and supportive wife – my wife should have paparazzi following here where ever she goes…she is that awesome
4. a relationship with Jesus Christ – as a Christian I believe this is the most life altering thing ever and I am amazed that God loves me the way he does
5. learning to be content with what you have – the moment you quit trying to keep up with the Jones is a moment that is awesome
6. healthy local churches – the world is so blessed by awesome kingdom communities
7. the Bible – this is such a gift…at the beginning of every train wreck people go through is someone who ignored this book
8. being a parent – never has something that is so hard, been so amazing…even when I want to strangle them…it is still fantastic
9. your health – we take this for granted
10. staying teachable – it is always worth it and a powerful thing to keep learning from others

Yesterday I went to a prison to visit a man who was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer less than 3 weeks ago.  I sat in his “hospital” room in the prison and looked at him from eye to eye about 2 feet away.  Here is a man who I have met with a few times before and he was a tough man.  A man who has made some poor decisions and ended up in some bad places and had the edge that comes with that kind of life.  He knows prison and how to survive there.  He knows how to handle himself.  Yet as we talked yesterday, those same eyes that once showed strength, were not the same.  I looked into the eyes of a scared man.  A man who felt guilty.  A man who is sad.  A man with regret.  I saw that just in his eyes before he spoke. 

As I drove home, I prayed for him on lots of fronts.  I praised God that I was able to offer him hope and forgiveness in the person of Jesus.  I also reflected on my own life.  When death is looking me eye to eye and when I have nothing but the voices in my own head looking at all my life.  What will I feel?  What will I regret?  What will people see my eyes?   I thought…..teach me to number my days Lord, that I might live wisely.

1. college football starts this week (I can actually feel my heart leaping with joy)
2. feels like God is about to so some incredible stuff at Grace Fellowship (our church is going to the Next Level)
3. I am proud of my son who participated in his first soccer practice this weekend
4. loves fall weather…I want more of it now
5. am excited for my friends John and Danielle to have their baby
6. I need to go see a movie at the theater (it has been awhile)
7. anyone else wish that they could speed read
8. welcome to the team Charlie (new Media and Technical Director), we are glad to have you
9. I wish I loved a healthy food as much as I love bacon
10. make this week count…do something significant

I have wrestled with whether I should write this blog for a few days.  I saw and read some stuff the other day that made me want to write it a few days ago, but I felt it important to “count to 10″ and wait for some wisdom and clear reflection.  What I am about to write is not going to make some happy and I am betting there are some that are going to call it judgmental and dumb.  However, I just feel like this stuff has to be said.  Let me also state that what I am writing is directed at Christians or those who profess to be so.  If you are not a Christian, you can just sit back and laugh at me or just chuckle and think this is why I hate Christian people.

Let me say a few things about myself.  I am not perfect.  I have sin, lots of it.  More than I am even aware of.  But I hate my sin.  When I see it and sense it, I really do not like it and I want it gone.  That does not always mean I do what needs to be done to address my sin right away, but I really want to honor God with my life and my holiness.  Secondly, I use facebook.  I feel like I have been able to find a way to use it effectively as something for fun, but also as a tool for communicating to people I pastor and minister to.  As a result of using it myself, I spend some time on there and I see things.  Things I am not looking for, but that are just put in front of me.

The Bible tells me to hate what is evil and cling to what is good (Romans 12:9).  It also tells me that I should expect those who are not Christians to live like those who do not know Christ, but it also says I should expect Christians to be living like Christians.  This does not mean Christians will be perfect or not make mistakes.  It does not mean that we all mature in Christ at the same rate.  It does not mean that we should not be real about what we love or like.  But it does mean Christians should be maturing.  Growing.  Learning.  Striving to hate sin and love goodness.  Desiring to pursue the things of God and live for him.  In fact 1 John 2:6 says that as Christians we should do everything we can to walk as Jesus did.  1 Corinthians 5 tells us how Paul did indeed judge those who were a part of the church.  He says we are to hold those in the church accountable to the standard of God (1 Cor. 5:12)  I know what you are thinking…don’t judge.  God said don’t judge.  That is not really what he said.  Read Matthew 7 again and look at what he really said.

But here is the point.  I put all this together.  I hate sin, including my own.  I use facebook.  I am called to hold Christians, especially those in my church community to a Godly standard.  I love what is good.  And when you bake this at 350….the end product is that I am sad.  I just am sad and heart broken.  I am so bummed to keep seeing professing Christians…those in my church…those I love…those who claim the same name of God I do on their info sections of their facebook pages partying because it is a bachelor or bachelorette party (I am not saying if of age, you can’t drink, but it is clear what is going on), showing off their bodies in swimsuits, longing to watch and celebrating the likes of Jersey shore, acting like everyone else at the 21st birthday party, using language that even if you argue is alright, should not be publicly put out there, not conveying their excitement about ministry or God’s work in his or her life, etc.  I love the opportunities facebook offers.  I love the tool.  But so often I go to use it and I am just sad.  Sad because I want to hate evil and cling to good.  Sad because I love these people and their actions do not match their profession.  Sad because I know there are scars and casualties coming.  Sad because the world never gets to truly see Christ when his represenatives are living for themselves and not him.  Sad because this gives those who do not believe a case to say what difference. 

I am asking all of us to be honest.  If you are a Christ follower, this has to stop.  In all areas, including facebook, God calls us to be holy.  We must get this as right as we can.  God’s reputation is at stake.  If you can look at your life or read this and you do not care or there is no fruit or just get mad, maybe it is because you really do not know God and what breaks his heart.  I am not God and I do not know where you are, but truth is in our fruit.  If you write Christian on your info page or say it out loud, make sure your status updates, images, desires, actions, etc. reflect that claim.  If not, stop making the claim.

I have people that “punch me in the face” when I need it.  They love me and love God and love his church, and they want me to represent well the one who died for us all.  Sorry to throw the punch, but it needs to be said.

I was driving a few weeks back when I heard a sports talk host mention the importance of discipline.  I am paraphrasing, but he said how discipline is so underrated and yet just how crucial it is to reaching a destination you are desiring to arrive at.  I think many of us have convinced ourselves that good intentions and sporadic efforts are enough.  However, I have found that in any area of my life and the lives of others, it is the daily, and even hourly, consistent and correct steps that keep me on the proper path.  It is the little daily steps that lead to the longer term big results.  As I am writing this, it seems that this truth should be  painfully obvious, but yet discipline is something some many of us, including myself, consistently lack.  Are we acting today in a way that will make you who you want to be tomorrow?

I was at a conference last week and I heard a guy say something that hit me hard.  He talked about the moment of “maybe.”  We all of this idea of how we could never do that or commit that crime or be involved in that kind of racket or do what Tiger did or whatever.  (Which for the record, we are all capable of anything in the right situation)  But here is the thing, there is a pivotal moment in this process, and most often it is a process, of moving from “I could never” to “holy crap, what have I just done.”  And that moment is the moment of maybe.  It is the moment, where you actually begin to entertain the thing.  You create the scenario.  You begin to idealize it.  You ignore the consequences.  And you take a huge step….you go from never…to maybe.  It is at the this moment where you have to go MMA on your brain.  You have to crush the thought.  You have to launch a missile attack on the scenario.  You must destroy the maybe.  The step from the “maybe” to action is not as large as most believe.  So in order to avoid the train crash, crush the moment of maybe.

I read something on an airplane that just stirred me the other day.  I will paraphrase it.  It said if all Christians took the mission of the gospel and church as seriously as you did, what would the effectiveness of the church be?  If every Christian served in their local church like you….shared their faith like you…helped the poor like you…prayed like you…hated evil and clung to good like you…did marriage or dating like you…and so on – what would the church look like?  This cut me to the core.

As a pastor, you hear many people say many things.  But some phrases/ thoughts/ sayings you definitely end up hearing said more than others.  One that I have heard over the course of 6 years as  a pastor several times is “I am just not connecting at the church.”  If it is a couple, it changes to something like “we are just not connecting.”  Some people spin – “we just have not found our place or we are not sure this place is a good fit, or we have struggled to make relationships” – you get the point.  I have to admit, when I hear this, most of the reactions in my head are not ones that people would want to hear back.   Every situation and every personality/ family is unique, but in most scenarios where people feel this way there are several similar themes.

1. the person or family is not in a small group or ministry where they serve with others
2. if they are “involved” in a group or ministry, their attendance is sporadic at best
3. the individual or family expects to be chased down and invited, rather than seek out how to serve and get involved
4. they have not given relationships a chance to blossom (they want a fairly immediate connection)
5. this is a less frequent, but many times the person or family has some social skills deficiencies

I hesitate to even communicate number 5, because the bigger reality is this.  Making connections is a two way street.  You have to put yourself out there.  You have to get involved.  You have to make an effort.  You have to be available and around.  You will reap what you sow in this area.  Please be careful to blame a group, or a family, or a church, or a team when you are not willing to put yourself out there.

Now with that said – a few things to consider:

1. churches, individuals, families, teams can struggle and frankly sometimes stink at creating opportunities to connect - if you see that, do not run – instead help them and get involved at fixing this
2. put yourself out there – take the risk of getting involved or attending, even when you are not invited
3. most environments are going to work out just fine if you will take the risk to attend
4. if every environment you attend seems to be bad at creating connections, maybe you need to look at yourself and your expectations
5. real connections take time and effort – don’t expect to microwave that 

I was on vacation last week and there were lots of fun and interesting developments over that time.  Some of them I am sure to comment on in later blogs, but one particular I had to call out right away.  Life goes on when you are vacation and things happen…for example over the last 2 weeks – LeBron crushed the city of Cleveland’s heart, my son rode a tube behind the boat for the first time,  my niece and nephew learned to water ski, I ate one month worth of desserts in 8 days, and so on….but of all the new things that happened or learned about, there was one that took the cake.

I was introduced to a squealer.  Get ready.  It is a maple creamstick donut with bacon on top.  Yes, that is right, I said bacon on top of a doughnut.  I did not have the guts to eat one.  But my mind was blown that such an item even exists.  Are we really this unhealthy as a culture?  Or is bacon just that good?  Or maybe someone last a bet.  Whatever the case, last week I was introduced to the squealer.

Yesterday evening, my son crawled up on my lap and sat with me.  I was listening to a sermon from a pastor I follow.  My son just sat there quietly until he finally asked what I was listening to.  I told him it was a talk about Jesus.  He asked a couple of questions and then just set there quietly and rested in my arms.  I loved the moment.  I sat there and drank it in.  I was actually able to seize that piece of time and just think about how cool it was and take advantage of it.  But before I knew it, he asked that I take him up to bed (which any time a 4 year old asks to go to bed, you do not argue), and I did and the moment was over.

It made me think.  How much to we really embrace a moment.  A chance to enjoy a talk with someone.  A nice view.  The silence.  The noise.  A big play.  Some kind words.  Or how many moments do we miss that we did not capitalize on?  I should have said.  I could have given.  I was just too busy.  I want to be the kind of person that enjoy and maximizes each moment God chooses to give me.