Random Thoughts

I was thinking the other day about certain things that make me smile.  Some of these are bigger deals than others, but all of them make me smile and bring me joy.  I found that making a list was worthwhile on several fronts.  Maybe my list will give some good ideas.  Finding and basking in the things that bring you joy have a way of making life even sweeter.  

Here are some things that always bring me joy:

1. my son (6) and daughter (4) singing top 40 music in the car
2. any time my wife laughs
3. seeing anyone grow in his or relationship with Jesus
4. watching my friends who are leaders succeed
5. reflecting how lucky I am to have my parents, my brother and my sister
6. seeing my kids learn something new that they were afraid of
7. anytime the Miami Heat lose
8. remembering where Grace Fellowship has been and where it is going
9. eating good food
10. time on the water

This post will more than likely just serve as therapy for me.  It will be a journal entry of sorts.  I have found that in almost 8 years of ministry one of the hardest things is the follow-up/ check-in for people in your church.  In a church like Grace Fellowship, there are many who say they go to Grace, but after some time you do not see them.  Many of them were consistent attenders for awhile, but have stopped attending for whatever reason.  You have others who are going through a busy season, and just have not been able to attend for whatever reason.  Others who have really left and now attend another church.  No matter the situation, I always find myself in a tough spot.  Some people want to be chased and pursued while others just want to be left alone and even hope you have not noticed they are gone.  I find this balancing act very difficult.  Some want a call, some will never answer that call.  Some want lunch, others want to leave the restaurant if you just happen to bump into them at the same place they are eating.  For some I call.  Others I email or Facebook.  I go to visit some and set up appointments with others.  I really try and engage each person in a way that I think is comfortable, but in that process I never feel like I am getting it quite right.  I feel like I end up bothering some  while others feel like I am ignoring them.  I am going to continue to work hard to find this balance, but I have thought of some things that would help from those people who go absent in a church.

1. When you are written or called, get back to the people who reach out.  It is incredibly frustrating to pursue people and never hear anything.  I would rather hear go away and leave me alone than silence.
2. When you do talk to the person from the church reaching out, be honest.  If you have found another church, share that.  If you were wounded by the church and did not know what to do, convey that.  If you have been at travel baseball for two months, share that.  If you are struggling with your beliefs, share that.
3. Let the church know your boundaries.  If you want pursued or left alone, please share.
4. Share how the church can pray for you if that is what you need.
5. Please be careful not to be “one and done” person.  The church serves you for a long time and then this thing happens and you are gone.  Remember the faithfulness of a community.

My daughter (she is 4) walked into the room where I was reading the other day.  She looked at me and simply said, “I did it.”  It caught me off guard.  I asked, “What did you do?”  She said, “Come here and I will show you.”  I walked into the room where she had been playing with her ponies and saw that she had spilled her milk.  She did do it.  She had spilled the milk.  I looked at her and said “thank you for coming and getting me and telling me.”  She did something I think is really important.  She confessed on her own.  She did not need to be asked or confronted.  Confession is always better that being forced to admit.  There is something about coming clean on your own that is so powerful.  It does not mean that there is not milk to clean up, but confessing it is the way to go.

What is something you are involved in or addicted to or hiding that if brought to surface and you had to admit would hurt others, embarrass your family, shame your God, and so on?  I want to suggest that we learn to confess before we have to admit.  Go public with it your own will rather than the will of someone else.

I found that my thoughts the other day were just dwelling on a person.  This person is in the same line of work that I am in.  I know him and respect him.  I actually really value him.  For the good part of a day, I just could not stop thinking about him and his work.  At some point, I realized I was thinking about this person over and over and I began thinking about why I was thinking about the person.  As I thought about it, I began to really examine what my thoughts about the person really were.  I realized there was a lot of critique, second guessing, bitterness, pettiness, and frustration.  But on the other side, I had praise, compliments and happiness that related to this person.  And then it hit me, I was jealous.  I was.  I am.  Jealousy has a way of leading us to obsess about people.  And that obsession often leads to some really unhealthy thoughts.

There are some things that happen when we are jealous of someone.  As we obsess, some version of the following begins to happen…

• We find ways to minimize their achievements.
• We convince ourselves of why we would have done it differently and our way is better.
• We discover reasons not to publicly and personally celebrate the individual.
• We remember character flaws and focus on those.
• We recall the past failures of the person and filter the current situation through those.

This type of attitude and behavior does not cause relationships to thrive.  Instead, jealousy will lead to the relationship tanking.  Join me in my pursuit to weed out jealousy and its fruit.

I was in a restaurant a few weeks back and there were a group of kids at the restaurant.  The kids were there as a part of a group that was having some kind of event (girl scouts, Brownies, or something like that).  We were in the restaurant for about 45 minutes as a family.  The entire time we were there the kids from this group were running around the joint.  On three occasions I saw a kid run into an adult that was carrying food and drinks and caused a spill.  The kids were loud and disruptive.  Now I have 2 little kids and we have been “the group” at many a public places.  So my goal is not to crush these kids or these parents.  But as I watched this,  I thought their lack of awareness of their actions and how it impacts those around them is a sign of immaturity.  And to be honest, somewhat age appropriate immaturity.

But something hit me as I reflected on this.  For disciples of Jesus, our awareness and sensitivity (or lack of these) to those in a room reflects our maturity level.  There are times to have that talk or press that question, but there are times not to.  Does that environment you are in call for more restrained behavior or for you to be more outgoing?  Are you aware that your actions could be confusing someone about who God is or helping them?  Here are some things to consider regarding our awareness in various environments….

• Should politics be avoided or handled differently based on this environment?
• How should alcohol be engaged based on who is around?
• Am I looking for who is being left out in conversation and pursuing them?
• Are these the right people to criticize tatoos or speak so aggressively against something like abortion with? (Do I know where they are and where they have been?)
• Have I considered what kind of trial or pain they may recently have gone through?
• Is the nature of the environment making others in the group feel uncomfortable?

I am always blown away by the number of folks who attend church services at Easter.  In some ways, it just confuses me.  Churches, like the one I pastor, have record attendances on Easter each and every year.  The week before it does not have the same kind of numbers and the week following does not either.  (Sure there are growth numbers around Easter, but Easter is just so unique).  Is church not a priority the other weekends and days of the lives of people?  Are there no sports tournaments either to watch or have your kid at on Easter weekend?  Do people go out of some tradition?  Is attending Easter stuff somehow part of living in the United States?  Why spend the money on little Susie’s dress and little Johnny’s suit for one day?  Do we feel the need to purchase some silly hats?  I know I am getting a little silly, but I really do not understand it.

It brings me to two major thoughts.  If you believe Jesus is God and that He rose from the dead, that is true every day and every weekend not just some random Sunday in the spring.  If the Easter thing is real, then we have some serious stuff on our hands.  We have to deal with the reality that the Bible is true and Jesus is alive and that there is a claim on my life from God.  It also is incredibly good news knowing that God’s grace is real and that I do not have to worry about being religious or good enough or knowing Bible trivia, because Jesus has paid for my sin and done it all for us.

Here is the second thought.  I wonder what kind of positive inertia the church at large would have if every person made attending weekend services as a big a priority each and every weekend as they do on Easter.  People find a way to get there.  They make it a priority on Easter.  What if every week people attended their small group, or house church or Sunday or Saturday services with the commitment to being there on Easter.  Think about what people would learn.  Think about the model to our families.  Think about the ministry we could accomplish.  Think about the training that could get done.  Think about the noise level of the singing in buildings and home across the world.  Think about power of seeing large numbers of people assembling together week in and week out.  If you are a part of church, start attending each week as though it is Easter.

I was driving to a meeting a few weeks back and on the way I passed a hospital.  This hospital was the site of a significant event about a year ago in my family.  My nephew had fallen off the ladder of a high dive and whacked his head pretty good.  In fact, my nephew had cracked his skull.  The situation got kind of scary as the time was unfolding.  I remember being in that hospital petitioning God for certain things.  I also remember driving home and praying to God and seeking him for a variety of things in that situation.  My prayers at the hospital, and from the car, and those from home were all answered.  They were answered quickly and completely.  I remember for the first few days after this thanking God.  But since then, I have not thanked God for his mercy in answering those requests.  Not once.  It is so easy to forget God’s faithfulness and mercy.  I am so prone to just accept God’s insane generosity and then move on without ever thinking about his personal care in that specific situation ever again.

As many of you who read this blog know, I just returned from a two week trip from Israel and Jordan.  There will be many blogs to come over time about my experience there.  It was incredible.  My wife and kids and I decided to have a lunch out yesterday after church to celebrate me being home.  The kids picked Genji (a Japanese steak house).  I loved this pick and was excited to enjoy the food and time with the family.

As we sat there getting ready for a meal to be prepared, my daughter (Kaiya) remembered that at one point in the process of cooking the food there would be a fire coming from the grill.  She asked me about it and I told her that I would let it know when it was about to happen.  As the “fire” was about to happen, I told Kaiya and she crawled up in my lap.  The picture shows her drawing near to me.   She dug in deep and hugged me.  She trusted her daddy to protect her and give her comfort as the fire was around her.

As she did this, an important truth hit me.  When fires show up in our lives, we should never be afraid to lean radically into our heavenly Father.  He promises that He will never leave or forsake us.  He is strong and a protector.  He is with us.  He cares.  He can stand the heat.  He identifies with us.  So when the fire comes, craw up on your heavenly Father’s lap and let him comfort you.

Sometimes you get to experience things in life where words will not do it justice. My current trip to Jordan and Israel is one of those experiences. I am learning things. Some things about the world and about others and about myself and about God and so on. I am so grateful for this.

I plan to write much about this trip in the days to come. My internet access has been limited in the past few days, and will be the rest of the trip. With that said, I have posted a picture of Jerusalem. Here is my thought related to this picture. Take a moment and thank God for the things He has allowed you to experience and that He used to grow you. Those experiences are truly a gift. I know this trip is something I am thanking God for.

The picture below is from a hillside that some believe is where Jesus preached the Sermon on the Mount and taught the Beatitudes. For that reason, this sight is called the Mount of the Beatitudes. As we stood at the sight, our team and tour leader, Bob, began to recite Matthew chapters 5-7. These are verses I have heard, read and taught many times. As he shared this text in this context, it just became obvious how amazing a teacher Jesus was. Jesus was a master communicator who taught things that were so clearly revolutionary and transformational. I encourage you to go read and meditate on those verses. Allow the great teacher to teach.